How Women Make Your Life Better And More Stress-Free

The Importance of Women

In honor of Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day, I wanted to highlight the importance of women in history and also the importance of women in your life. 

There are many types of women in your life. 

• There are those in your daily life—friends, neighbors, family, colleagues, social media hype girls, etc.

• There are also the women who inspire you. These are your role models, your muses, the women who wrote words that shook you to your core. Those women who use their voices encourage us to do the same. 

• There are the women who came before you. Your ancestors. Those who paved the way for us to be where we are today. There are those who stood up before it was considered proper to do so. 

Women continue to push the envelope. Our world needs this. It needs growth and change. Our world needs you. And we need you healthy, fulfilled, and living in your truth. 

Thus, what’s behind every strong woman? Other strong women—either as distant inspiration, relatives who passed but left a lasting mark, or a friend by their side. Women need one another.  

“So here I stand, one girl among many. I speak not for myself, but so those without a voice can be heard. Those who have fought for their rights. Their right to live in peace. Their right to be treated with dignity. Their right to equality of opportunity. Their right to be educated.”

—Malala Yousafzai

Women Supporting Women

Further, having a community of women learning and going through similar things as you is a huge help! It can boost your confidence, knowing you’re not alone. And a community allows you a space to share what you’re learning and going through, too. 

The Facebook group Holistically Healthy Women can be that community for you. 

The group is built on 5 Pillars of Wellness:

Women’s Health

Nutrition

Stress Management

Mindfulness

Mindset

The group is open to women of all ages, backgrounds, races, sexual orientations, and so on. But we all share a common thread—the desire to learn and deepen.

For 2022, each month we will address a topic under one of the Pillars of Wellness:

“I always believed that one woman’s success can only help another woman’s success.”

—Gloria Vanderbilt

A History of Women Coming Together

Before modern culture, there was a tradition for women called the red tent. It has other names like moon lodge or menstrual hut. This lodge or hut is a place for women to come together, free of titles, and hold space for their emotions and bodies. 

These are held once a month during the new moon. It’s done at this time to honor the inward cycle of the moon and each woman. New moons traditionally bring women to a more introspective time. The new moon is a period to let go of the old and to make space for the new. 

The tradition of menstrual tents is seen throughout varying cultures like Native American, African, and Islamic cultures. 

According to Dr. Isadora Leidenfrost, “there’s a strong male bias on a lot of the literature before 1960.” She found that the articles and books about the history of red tents were written by men. Men weren’t allowed in the huts themselves and the journalists asked other males in the community for information on the traditions. But they hadn’t experienced it either! 

It wasn’t until second-wave feminism in the 1960’s that a female perspective on the traditions emerged. 

For more on the topic, The Red Tent Movement: A Historical Perspective, is an audiobook and e-book created to inform more women today of the rich history of these huts throughout different cultures. Click here to find out more about the history or to find a tent near you. 

How Having Women in Your Life Helps With Stress Management 

So, what do friends and stress management have in common? Well, humans have certain reactions to stress. Walter Cannon first described a human’s response to stress as the fight-or-flight response in 1932. 

Conversely, it was Shelley E. Taylor who didn’t feel resonate with this as a female. With help of a few other researchers, they found that early description of fight-or-flight was studied mostly on males and specifically male rats. 

After a further study on females, the team published an article in the Psychological Review in 2000. They found a term that better fit typical stress responses in females. They named this tend-and-befriend.

This describes two types of responses: 

1. Tend: taking care of others and offspring at the height of a stressful situation, and later taking care of the self. 
2. Befriend: talking to a loved one about a stressful situation to feel a human connection. This isn’t necessarily to solve the problem but to feel heard and connected. 

Even more, this is why women need other women. We handle stress differently and reach out for support in times of challenge. This interaction leads to an increase in oxytocin and brings ease to the female talking it through.

How to Support Other

As a matter of fact, we’re not meant to go at this alone. Biologically, humans are social creatures. Nonetheless, as society has modernized, we’ve become more isolated from one another. In that isolation, a lot of us have lost the ability to trust others. Trust takes time and it takes practice. 

Being vulnerable. Being honest. Staying open. Learning and holding boundaries. It’s all a practice. 

But even so, not everyone will be able to meet you how you expect them to. This is okay. To help discern who is open, here’s a list.

Some helpful ways to be respectful of another sister’s energy + time:

• Ask if she is available to hear your challenge/vent
• If she is, then share.
• If she’s not, then thank her and later find a journal, your breath, or another friend that is able to hold you
• Practice holding space for others—not fixing, not bringing it back to yourself, just listening
• Ask thoughtful questions
• Practice allowing others to hold space for you
• Book a session with your coach or therapist to work through challenges
• Practice holding space for yourself—not fixing, just listening

Empowering Other Women

The ‘Women Supporting Women’ movement is about empowering other women instead of tearing one another down. There’s a different mindset when women are being supportive rather than comparative. The difference is an abundant mindset rather than a scarcity mindset.

Scarcity believes that we must compete with one another because there isn’t enough to go around. 

Abundance says the opposite. There is more than enough to go around! When you shine, it doesn’t take away from me shining. In fact, we all benefit from you stepping into your power. 

There needs to be a further transition into seeing each other as sisters and not competition. Because the truth is there’s no comparison between women for each woman is entirely unique. 

In the Facebook group, Belle and I discuss mindset often, as well as the other pillars. How you think about your life makes a huge impact on how enjoyable your life is. 

Reach Out

Building close relationships takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge those already in your life and show them your appreciation.

If you need support, reach out. Book a call with me and join our Facebook group! We’re ready for you. The world is ready for you!